Entry: slit our wrists Wednesday, September 17, 2003



i havent updated any of my online diaries lately. i didnt plan on updating this one. but i thought what the fuck... it cant hurt anymore than it already does, right? well.. yes it very well could. damnit, i shouldnt have said that. i talked to jason today, which was ok, i guess. didnt really talk about anything i wanted to. i guess it feels funni telling him my problems. ive been kinda hoping dan would get online/call and i could talk to him. that would definitely make me feel tons better. i really wish i could see dan right now. i dunno. im stupid. he'll prolly end up doing me like everyone else has. damn that sounds really whiny. ive been breaking down a lot lately. usually at home alone or right before bed or in the shower.. i tend to not let people know.. but today i was talking to my mom on her phone asking her when she was gonna be home and she accused me of wanting to leave and i just started bawling and it got even worse. so bridgett and her mom are on their way right now to come get me. i really hope i can live with them. it would be a lot of work.. but i think i can do it. i need to. its not just a want anymore. i have to do this for my sanity. well i guess i better get going...

they -s-l-i-t- our wrists
and send us to heaven
the first flower after the flood

benjabe

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